February 2020
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Deep Thoughts

James Dean deep in thought

James Dean deep in thought – or completely confused after reading this blog!

I wonder if all the porn was suddenly deleted from the internet if the void would be so massive it would collapse the earth and create a black hole?

Over the weekend, someone asked me if I had any spare change. I told them “Yes, but it’s at home in my spare wallet.”

If at first you do not succeed, then you should probably not try skydiving.

Always and never are two words you should always remember to never use.

If you think that no one cares about you, try skipping a couple of student loan payments.

Father’s Day Deep Thought: Last night a single mother told me she hated Father’s Day because her ex-husband was a deadbeat dad. I told her to explain to her kids that deadbeat dads have a special holiday too – April 1.  Happy Father’s Day guys – now man up and smile about the ugly tie, the warped ceramic cup and the homemade card with palm prints on it – you love it and you know it. (Plus, you can go to Lowe’s after work tomorrow and get that new compound miter saw with the laser guide.)

The interesting thing about living in a small town is when I don’t know what I am doing today, someone else does.

I think I finally figured out what the problem with real life is – there’s no danger music for dramatic affect.  However, playing music from the Mission Impossible movies on your cell phone as you enter a room for a meeting can generate some funny looks from peers and leaders.

While unable to sleep the other night I asked, “Where have I gone wrong?” Suddenly a voice said, “This is going to take more than one night.”

My father used to tell me that air was free. He obviously never bought a bag of potato chips.

I’m pretty sure the reason humanity has never gone further than the moon while alien races roam the galaxy faster than the speed of light, is because the aliens abolished meetings.

Why is it that Tuesdays often feel like a Monday, but never feel like a Friday?

Should I be worried that all the paintings in the lobby of my plastic surgeon are by Picasso?

Other than velcro, time is perhaps the most mysterious thing known to humans. We cannot see or touch it, but we all feel it. And somehow, plumbers are able to charge me $100 for an hour of it without actually doing anything!

If dentists make their money from unhealthy teeth, then why would I trust a product recommended by 4 out of 5 of them?